A Brand New Day

I started the Nutrisystem diet this morning. So did Dom. We are both committed to getting it right this time. I suppose that means I will be back to the gym. Fun! (not)

My iTouch

Hey! I can blog from my iPod touch! Who knew?

Perspective

Well, lookie here. Mari's about to write that she hasn't been here in ages. Surprise, surprise. Maybe blogging really isn't for me, huh?

I signed on here to check out my dear friend's new blog. She lost her husband suddenly and tragically almost three weeks ago. Suddenly and tragically don't really seem to sum it up, but I can't think of any better words.

When I got that call about her husband from another dear friend, I lost my mind. I couldn't even wrap my brain around the idea. Poor Caroline (now 9 1/2) watched me have a complete melt down. In the moments after I was able to reassure her that I would be OK, and I told her what happened, I had one of the proudest moments I have ever had being a mom.

I was saying, "I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do" over and over. She calmly said, "we'll start cooking". I couldn't make myself move, but she started making some food she knew we could freeze and give to our friends. This kid makes a mean meatloaf and chili. I wonder if they've found a way out of my friend's freezer yet. Something about her fixing those two dishes that night have made me very, very proud.

Meanwhile, I feel like something has changed in me. I love my husband. I have always loved him, but I don't think I understood that I REALLY do. In my previous marriage, I honestly never had an intense feeling of love. I suppose that's a topic for another day. My friend losing her husband has prompted me to say "I love you" a million more times than I would have. I'm hugging my kid and my husband so much more than before. This is a good thing, of course. But, probably thanks to spending 25 years as a Roman Catholic, I have some odd sense of guilt that I'm using her tradgey to make things better and more loving around here. I think a rational person would say that doesn't make much sense. But, I haven't been thinking rationally for several weeks.

I have no closing sentence. There's too much to think about. Too much to keep in perspective.

Caroline's Silliest Question of All

We're sitting in Saladworks have our dinner. Caroline asks, "Mom, can we go somewhere else on vacation this year besides Disney?". I was shocked. Dismayed. Overcome with grief. So I said no, of course not.

So, she backpedals a bit and asks if we can go somewhere in addition to Disney. I said we might be able to do that, and I asked her where she wanted to go. Williamsburg. Ah, history, learning, getting back to the roots of our country. She's been there twice and has really enjoyed it. So, of course, I ask her why she wants to go there now. Her reply?

"So I can get some good pulled pork!"

A girl after my own heart!!!

What a Waste of Time

So I'm sitting here knee deep in paperwork I need to get done. Strike that. I did about half of it, which makes me maybe calf deep. Either which way, I will finish this stupid paperwork and then no one (NO ONE) will ever read it because it is simply a formality. I hate wasting my time on this.

On a completely other note, Caroline has suddenly become a fashion maven. She's into layering and Fuggs (fake Uggs...I had to ask too). What happened to my baby??? She's turning into a teenager way too soon!

Here In the Real World (to be sung in an Alan Jackson twang)

Arrrrrghhhhhhhh!!!! Christmas break is over and it's back to the real world in the morning. That is so not cool!! Luckily I should have a fairly I fairly light week. Of course every time I say that, someone has some crisis or other. Let's hope that's not the case this week!

Caroline's question of the day that I cannot answer: What's the percentage chance that the fighting going on in Gaza is going to come here?

Ummmmm...I said zero, but that might be a lie, right?

Gina went home yesterday, and we miss having her!! We ate out practically every meal she was here. LOL I guess part of getting back to the real world will be coooking. I better get to a grocery store! Here's the last picture I took of the girls having our fondue on New Year's Eve.

Things Caroline Asks I Can't Answer

What hormones do cats have that make them go into heat? And why don't they get a real period?


Ummmm....don't know.

Autism, Scientology, and Jett Travolta

I've been thinking today about the sudden and tragic death of Jett Travolta. Rumor has it that the poor young man had autism, but his parents didn't seek any treatment (or any conventional treatment) because of their Scientology beliefs. Apparently, Scientology doesn't acknowledge the existence of autism or other psychological/behavioral disorders. Of course I'm the first person to champion a parent's right to do what they will medically and educationally with their children. I'm also the first person to support a family's privacy. So, all that being said this begs the following questions to me...

1. Do celebrities have some responsibility to bring awareness to issues like this at the sacrifice of their privacy in order to further the "cause"?
2. If Jett had a seizure disorder and wasn't properly medicated can I stand behind my "do what you want medically" stance?
3. If Jett had autism was the family within their rights to not provide educational opportunities by denying its existence?

I don't know the answer to any of these questions. In my first year teaching, I had a student die during a seizure. He was medicated. But, he was alone and unsupervised (most likely) in his bed in a residential facility. I often wonder if he could have been helped had a staff person seen the seizure begin. I can't believe this incident was 17 years ago.

Meanwhile, I imagine I've worked with 100 or so people with autism throughout the years. I can't fathom someone denying the existence of the condition. I can see people wanting to explore various treatments, even though my experience is that very few provide lasting change. But to just say "this doesn't exist". I don't get it.

Wrapping Up 2008

Funny! I just read what I wrote 2 years ago. Apparently I was a head case for a bit there. I'm really relieved for myself that I'm in a much much better place right now. Perhaps I should have sought some treatment! I was going to see if there's a way to delete some of that nonsense, but instead I'll just apologize to my poor husband for calling him an idiot and move on. (sorry, honey)


We have my niece Gina here with us for the week between Christmas and New Year's. It's so fun having a second one around. Today we went to Build-A-Bear so the girls could get new bears, and they both had a blast. We were there for 1 1/2 hours because it was SO crowded. Apparently a lot of people are opting out of this recession we're supposed to be having.






I titled this post "Wrapping Up 2008" because I had some thought that I'd sum the the year up here. I guess it's been fairly unremarkable!! Here are a few things I've learned or remembered, though:

1. It's good to let things go and move on (must be said with a wide sweep of the arm).
2. Not having your most fervent prayer answered can be hard. But it seems to get a little easier with the pain a little duller. This seems to be a good thing.
3. You can only do what you can do.
4. God is good. All the time.
5. People remember you by how you made them feel, not what you said to them.
6. Disney World is still my favorite place!!
7. I can go to the gym and not feel like fool!
8. I really do have more blessings than I could ever count.

Well, that wasn't too deep or anything, was it? I still have 2 more days of 2008 to come up with something better!!

While I'm at it...I need some resolutions. Only 2 at the moment.

1. Make an endocrinolgist appointment ASAP and stop putting it off!
2. Get back in the habit of exercising regularly, which was an all too easy habit to get out of!

Well, hmmm, here I am again. What's it been, 10 or 11 days? Anything different? Um, no. Crazy room parents are killing me. CRAZY Well, anyway, the picture is a little happy happy joy joy isn't it. That's Caroline in 2001. Cute as can be, I think.

Is this for anything other than complaining?

So, a few days into this blogging thing and I'm starting to think this is a good place to complain to no one in particular. Is it good for anything else? Don't know.

So, after a major fiasco at a meeting yesterday the parent involved is not letting it go. I get it. I'm an idiot. I do one thing she doesn't like, and I'm going to have to pay for it forever, I guess. Ugh.

Meanwhile, my husnamd is an idiot. How many times do I have to tell him that I just can't handle his sister being pregnant? And, now he's all excited about buying her unborn child a TMX for Christmas. Does he just not get it. I can't stand it.

So...I should read my Bible or something I think...because all those folks ooohing about journaling probably mean it as a reaction to Bible reading, right? Not just pure venting? UGh.

This sort of sucks.

It's 1:15 am...why am I still awake? Dom is working overnights and Caroline is at Walt's. Sort of sucks to be home alone...lonely...quiet.

I'm not sleeping because I'm avoiding waking up. I have to wrap up plans for the 2nd grade Halloween party on Tuesday. I have to get Brownies moving. I have to write 2 reports. I have 3 appointments tomorrow...none of which I particularly care to go to. Sort of sucks.

I remember about 6 1/2 years ago when I was pregnant with Caroline and I planned to stay home mostly...and work maybe 5 hours a week or something. HA!! The best laid plans, right? How bad did I screw things up by divorcing Walt??? I'm better as a person, for sure. But at what cost...financially it's pretty much wrecked me even all these years later. Caroline is going to have to spend the rest of her life bouncing back and forth between us. How bad is that for a kid???? Sort of sucks.

Bad day at work....15 years of dealing with families in shambles has taken its toll. Why do they have to be mean when I make a mistake?? Jeez...Too freaking emotional today for me. I need to find something else, I think. If only I could really follow the calling of my heart. Unfortunately, the calling of Caroline's and Dom's stomaches is louder. Sort of sucks.

I guess I should go to sleep now...have to face tomorrow eventually, right? Sort of sucks.

Well, look at this...I can post a photo...pretty cool...

That's my daughter Caroline who turned 7 last week. In this photo she had just had her face painted at Epcot in Disney World last month.

Do I need a blog?

Well, hmmmm...lookie lookie, I have a blog. I'm not entirely sure I need a blog. But, I created one for two reasons...1) Last night at Bible Study we talked about journaling as a form of spiritual growth and all the ladies ooooed and ahhhhhed about how great that is. So, I said to myself, you must need a blog. 2) I was one one the message boards I frequent (disboards.com) and saw a post about getting a free pair of pearl earrings if you put a link on your blog. It does seem clearer now that I need a blog, right?

So, what do I actually DO with one? I am having a very boring day, which is a good thing, considering my typical days. I already have dinner in the slow cooker (I'm a good mommy, huh?) and have emailed the troop about upcoming girl scout activities AND have emailed all the 2nd grade parents about the Halloween party.

I can't seem to find the remote and I'm too lazy to get up off my rear to look for it so ESPN is on the TV. THAT is boring!!!

After school we're going to buy a new winter coat because it is freaking cold here already (Phila. suburbs). No, really, that's the most exciting thing that's going to happen today. :sigh:

Hmmmmm...maybe I have nothing to blog afterall...

Stunning Pearl Necklace from PearlsOnly.com