The Love Dare: Day 6

Today's dare was to figure out where in my schedule I don't have enough margin and create it so as to be able to react to stressful situations lovingly rather than in an irritated manner. I think I just failed.

Dom and I were having a conversation, and I left a perfect opportunity for him to say something that I really need to hear, and he chose not to say it. I have been so stressed out, I just started crying. I didn't mean to hurt his feelings, but really I was just crushed. He went right into defensive mode, which upsets me even more. Ah, well, tomorrow will be better. Almost one week into it, and I don't feel like I've have a truly successful dare yet.

Here's Dom hugging a big monkey at WDW last year.

The Love Dare: Day 5

Dom doesn't want to make this easy for me! My dare today was to call him randomly during the day and ask him if there was anything he needed or that I could do for him. I figured he'd say he was out of his iced tea or something. But, noooooo. All I got was "that's OK, I'm all good". OK well, I tried!!

I did a good job today of not saying anything negative. I really do think I'm getting better at that.

Again, I am so lazy I'm not going to re-look at the bible verse or the dare for tomorrow.

Here is Dom as Queen Esther last night at Vacation Bible School:

The Love Dare: Day 4

Well, here it is day 4. I spent the day at my Aunt Mimi's funeral. After the 2.5 hour ride home, I needed to go right to VBS. Pure exhaustion. So, again, not the best day for these tasks.

I do have to say that Dom was awesome. He came and used his acting talents to help me out at VBS. He didn't have to do that, but he was happy to. I am so lucky!

I did pick up his Dunmorean hoagie, which he is about to eat. So I can safely say I completed yesterday's challenge. I had mixed up the order of challenges, though. Tomorrow was supposed to be the day that he told me what I do to annoy him. Today, I was supposed to call and ask him if he needed anything. So, I flip flopped.

He could only think of one thing that annoys him. I was supposed to ask for three. What he came up with was that I leave dishes and silverware around. This is totally true. Somehow, though I think this was a bit of a cop out. Surely I must do something more annoying than that!! I will have to press him a little more later.

Up tomorrow will be to call him during the day and ask if I can do anything for him. I will try to remember!!

I am too tired to find the bible quote for today. I'll have to do it tomorrow.

Here is a photo taken in Aunt Mimi and Uncle Skipper's house Thanksgiving 2001. In it left to right are: Dominic 2 yrs 5 month, Gina 10 months, Owen 2 yrs, Caroline 2 yrs 1 month. Since then Mimi and Skip have also added Nora and Reese as grandchildren and have another due any day. My parents have added Chloe, who is Michael's fiance's daughter.

The Love Dare: Day 3

Well, I typed out my entire post, and it seems to have disappeared. I don't like that!

Anyway, today was Day 3 of The Love Dare. My dare today was to buy something for Dom, along the lines of the idea of your heart is where your treasure is. Since I'm in Scranton for my Aunt Mimi's funeral, I didn't get to actually get him anything yet, but I think this may work out better. I am going to bring him home his favorite hoagie tomorrow: The Dunmorean, a classic tribute to his hometown of Dunmore. I really hope he likes it!!

Today, I also had to continue saying nothing negative. I have to say this is very very tricky for me, but I'm trying!!

Today's verse:
Where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder. James 3:16

Up tomorrow:

I need to ask Dom about what annoys him about me. The very hard part will be that I am not allowed to explain or defend myself. This will be practically impossible!! But, I will try.

Here is what I really wish I could give Dom:

The Love Dare: Day 2

Well, this was a crazy busy day. I had bell choir rehearsal at 9:15 this morning with church at 10:00. We left immediately to head to Stroudsburg (2 hour drive) for our new nephew Duncan's baptism party. We were there until 5:30 ish when we headed home with a stop for dinner. Now we're home and I'm starting to get things ready to head to Scranton for my Aunt Mimi's viewing and funeral.

I did a pretty good job on the first part of the challenge today, which was not saying anything negative to my spouse. We tend to tease each other a lot, which we both enjoy, but I wondered if that bordered on the negative. I did try to be very careful.

The second part of the challenge was to do an unexpected act of kindness. Fortunately for me, yet unfortunate for this challenge, is that Dom is so very kind and generous to me. I spent most of the baptismal party holding the baby. Dom was so kind to offer to get me something to eat and drink. Anytime I had a chance to, he already had gotten something for himself. At the pizza buffet place (CiCis) I did get him some pizza and drink, but that's not so very unusual. I was hoping to get in something better. There are still a few hours before we'll go to bed, so maybe I'll have the opportunity.



Today's Verse:

Proverbs 19:11
What is desirable in a man is his kindness.

Next up: Buy your spouse something that says "I'm thinking of you!" I think I have a plan for this one!!

The Love Dare: Day 1

I have recently watched the movie Fireproof and absolutely loved it.



The primary plot concerns Caleb, the husband of Catherine, in a last ditch effort to save their marriage by taking The Love Dare. The Love Dare is a book that has a dare/challenge for each of 40 consecutive days. Each day also has a relevant biblical verse. The results in the movie were really moving.

Although I don't think my marriage to Dom is in any danger whatsoever, I thought taking the challenge might enhance our relationship and give me some clues to the things I could do better. I am challenging myself to do each of the 4o days and blog about it. I downloaded The Love Dare book for the Kindle (love the instant gratification) and am on my way.

Day 1's challenge was to not say anything negative to your spouse. I have to admit I both had it easy and had a difficult time today. I had breakfast with friends early this morning then Dom left for work shortly after I got home. He didn't get home until 10:00 tonight. So, my actual face time with him today was minimal, which is almost like cheating.

I have to admit that I often take things out on him and seem to pick a fight when I am cranky or have had a bad day. About an hour before Dom got home from work tonight, I got word that my aunt died this evening. In addition to being sad for her family, I also started to feel the anxiety of what this would mean to my schedule this week. I have work AND vacation bible school each evening. This will really throw a monkey wrench into things. How's that for selfish?

Anyway, this is a situation in which I would normally be just cranky and look for something to say. I tried very hard to be kind and polite in the two hours or so we were awake together. I had to apologize about 4 times. I think I did OK, all things considering. Now, I have to do this for 39 more days. I need to find some kind words!!

Today's verse was:
James 1:19 Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.


Up tomorrow:

In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.

A Brand New Day

I started the Nutrisystem diet this morning. So did Dom. We are both committed to getting it right this time. I suppose that means I will be back to the gym. Fun! (not)

My iTouch

Hey! I can blog from my iPod touch! Who knew?

Perspective

Well, lookie here. Mari's about to write that she hasn't been here in ages. Surprise, surprise. Maybe blogging really isn't for me, huh?

I signed on here to check out my dear friend's new blog. She lost her husband suddenly and tragically almost three weeks ago. Suddenly and tragically don't really seem to sum it up, but I can't think of any better words.

When I got that call about her husband from another dear friend, I lost my mind. I couldn't even wrap my brain around the idea. Poor Caroline (now 9 1/2) watched me have a complete melt down. In the moments after I was able to reassure her that I would be OK, and I told her what happened, I had one of the proudest moments I have ever had being a mom.

I was saying, "I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do" over and over. She calmly said, "we'll start cooking". I couldn't make myself move, but she started making some food she knew we could freeze and give to our friends. This kid makes a mean meatloaf and chili. I wonder if they've found a way out of my friend's freezer yet. Something about her fixing those two dishes that night have made me very, very proud.

Meanwhile, I feel like something has changed in me. I love my husband. I have always loved him, but I don't think I understood that I REALLY do. In my previous marriage, I honestly never had an intense feeling of love. I suppose that's a topic for another day. My friend losing her husband has prompted me to say "I love you" a million more times than I would have. I'm hugging my kid and my husband so much more than before. This is a good thing, of course. But, probably thanks to spending 25 years as a Roman Catholic, I have some odd sense of guilt that I'm using her tradgey to make things better and more loving around here. I think a rational person would say that doesn't make much sense. But, I haven't been thinking rationally for several weeks.

I have no closing sentence. There's too much to think about. Too much to keep in perspective.